jack handey deep thoughts compilation

Actually that sounds super fun, perhaps I should hold it sooner… hmmmm. Joke from Jack Handy I've wondered where this started and I think it goes back to the time I went to the circus, and a clown killed my dad. Joke from Jack Handy Items on the Best Quotes by Jack Handey Deep Thoughts top list are added by the rankly.com community and ranked using our secret ranking sauce. He's a writer who also worked on some very funny SNL sketches like (a personal favorite of mine) "Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer" and "Toonces the Driving Cat.". Was it nothing more than a bunch of honking and yelling? Joke from Jack Handy If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is "God is crying." 9 I remember how my great-uncle Jerry would sit on the porch and whittle all day long. 14 One thing kids like is to be tricked. I can’t stand cheap people. * If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let'em go...because man, they're gone! And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is "Probably because of something you did.". And since he’s so busy, you’d probably have to run up to him real quick and hand it to him. 6 If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is, “God is crying.” And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is, “Probably because of something you did.” Joke from Jack Handy He cried and cried, but I think that deep down he thought it was a pretty good joke. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they’d never expect it. Relaxing music played over pastoral scenes, increasing the feeling that you were watching a very Zen relaxation video... yet when coupled by the acerbic thoughts of Jack Handey, REAL GUY, the quick sketches became a favorite among viewers. 13 I believe in making the world safe for our children, but not our children’s children, because I don’t think children should be having sex. By using LiveAbout, you accept our, 'Saturday Night Live' Sketches Made Into Movies, 25 Hilarious Yearbook Quotes That Belong In The Smart Ass Hall of Fame, A Father's Guide to Managing Stress at Home, The Best Saturday Night Live Christmas Sketches, 20 Stand up Comedians Who Totally Get What It's like to Be a Parent, The 25 Best Satirical News Articles from 'The Onion', Lee Trevino Quotes: 30 Great Quips About Golf and Life, The Best Quotes From and About the Legendary Madonna, 25 People Who Accidentally Found Their Doppelgangers at the Museum. File this under: Websites We Didn't Know Still Existed and Famous Names We Assumed Were Pen Names, but Actually Belong to Real People. See more ideas about Deep thoughts, Thoughts, Deep thoughts jack handy. 1 I wish I would have a real tragic love affair and get so bummed out that I’d just quit my job and become a bum for a few years, because I was thinking about doing that anyway. A Little Background on Deep Thoughts. Originally, the Deep Thoughts bits featured the voice of Phil Hartman (RIP) in the introduction, then Jack Handey, REAL GUY, would read the surprising, iconic, and always hilarious statements. We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason. Get the best of Insurance or Free Credit Report, browse our section on Cell Phones or learn about Life Insurance. Joke from Jack Handy. He's also a scriptwriter and actor with over 20 years of experience in those fields. 16 If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? Joke from Jack Handy But only if you’re serious about adopting the vulture. On the site, Jack Handey still doles out his satirical observations and much sought after "inspirational" quotations. Find Cash Advance, Debt Consolidation and more at Quotephotography.com. Here are Jack’s thoughts on money. To me, clowns aren't funny. Jack Handy is still alive and lives with his wife in New Mexico… meaning that when passes on, I will be forced to hold a Jack Handy Memorial Party. I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. I’d rather be rich than stupid. 2 Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk, my first instinct is to laugh. Children need encouragement. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it. Joke from Jack Handy First of all, who knew that Jack Handey, made infamous by the Saturday Night Live "Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey" bits from 1991 to 1998, was a real guy? It wasn't until later that I found out that Uncle Caveman was a bear. Explore Daniella Tjahjanto's photos on Flickr. That way, if anybody says, "Hey, can you give me a hand?," you can say, "Sorry, got these sacks.". 5 As the light changed from red to green to yellow and back to red again, I sat there thinking about life. Best Quotes by Jack Handey Deep Thoughts is a public top list created by Listnerd on rankly.com on September 16th 2013. Deep Thoughts: 34 Hilarious Jack Handey Quotes You may be wondering “Who is Jack Handey” and “Is he an infomercial product?” Lucky for you, we have … Here are a few Deep Thoughts to remind you of why they're awesome. Jack Handy seems to be quite the good jokester. That way he develops a good, lucky feeling. Joke from Jack Handy It's true! If God dwells inside us, like some people say, I sure hope He like enchiladas, because that's what He's getting! For instance, I was going to take my nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. Joke from Jack Handy "Oh, no," I said, "Disneyland burned down." Jack Handy is a not-so-famous comedian who’s surrealistic one liner jokes entitled “Deep Thoughts” were made much more famous than he ever was by the television show Saturday Night Live.Born in Texas in 1949, Jack Handy had his first book published by National Lampoon in 1984. LiveAbout uses cookies to provide you with a great user experience. This article was updated by Beverly Jenkins on November 15, 2016. Aug 13, 2020 - Explore Betty Joy Kester's board "Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey", followed by 121 people on Pinterest. Joke from Jack Handy See more ideas about Deep thoughts, Thoughts, Deep thoughts jack handy. In fact, they're kind of scary. 10 If your friend is already dead, and being eaten by vultures, I think it’s okay to feed some bits of your friend to one of the vultures, to teach him to do some tricks. Apparently he has also published a series of articles in the New Yorker and several books. The Official "Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey" Website. * If I ever get real rich, I hope I'm not real mean to poor people, like I am now. And no paint, because he had whittled off the paint. 17 If you go to a costume party at your boss’s house, wouldn’t you think a good costume would be to dress up like the boss’s wife? Then it wouldn’t seem quite so funny. His website also offers humorous articles written by Mr. Handey himself, plus his short Fuzzy Memories videos resurrecting the past.

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